It is challenging to have a cancer diagnosis, but …
I wasn’t desperately shocked by the initial diagnosis of MDS, though I had a real mix of emotions. However, my wife was, and so were the family.
I was aware from the beginning that this would trigger lots of different reactions. Those closest are naturally worried and want to help. There’s an assumption made that I am really ill and incapacitated, and people often express surprise at how well I look.
Other people’s reactions can be triggering, though I have not found them so. I guess having been through this as a carer helps considerably – I was much younger then and highly stressed and found some people very challenging then. I think also, being open and willing to talk about it has helped too. Age and experience are a big help.
There isn’t a recipe for dealing with other people’s reaction. Some will be shocked. Some will take it calmly. Most will want to help in some way. Some will keep in touch. Some will not want to bother you. Some will stay distant as they do not know how to respond. Some will find it easy to talk with you about it. Some will feel awkward. Of course, how you talk about it affects others.
Strangely, it does help to remind myself regularly, this is not all about me. It affects others too, and how I respond affects them.